Kenz Update
As promised I am going to update you on the Kenz situation. Well, since Christmas break, which she spent most of it at our house, she has really been on me about living with me. She has sent me several emails expressing her wishes and here is the kicker; she has figured out her mom.
She basically said to me in her email that she wants to talk to mom about it, but knows that her mom will start the water works to make her feel guilty. I wanted to tell Kenz welcome to my world because that is how her mom got what she wanted or won the fights. That is my biggest down fall because I can not stand crying.
Now, what do I do? I want what is best for her, but I know this is going to be a huge battle. Kenz has told me her reasons for wanting to live with us and I stand by her decision but now how do we go about this. My wife tells me I should be up front with her mother and just let her know what is going on and see if she will budge. Well, I know the tears will start flowing or the words surely will.
I was thinking about keeping it secret and taking all of the documents to the lawyers and push for this. As I said, I know it will be an expensive ordeal and a pretty ugly one. The kids will be the ones who will suffer the most. They will get caught in the middle and sadly I know words will be slinging. I have apologized to both girls for things I have said about their mom and now I try to wait until they are gone. Their mom still says things about me in front of them because Kenz tells me she isn’t very nice about me in any way.
So, what do I do? I want what is best for the kids and what will make them happy. It isn’t about me!!!! Although, I will admit, part of me has come alive again that one of my kids wants to be with me. What is the correct path to take? Do I be secretive and in a way vengeful or do I take the higher road and talk to her or is there another solution that I am missing? Please help!!!!
As promised I am going to update you on the Kenz situation. Well, since Christmas break, which she spent most of it at our house, she has really been on me about living with me. She has sent me several emails expressing her wishes and here is the kicker; she has figured out her mom.
She basically said to me in her email that she wants to talk to mom about it, but knows that her mom will start the water works to make her feel guilty. I wanted to tell Kenz welcome to my world because that is how her mom got what she wanted or won the fights. That is my biggest down fall because I can not stand crying.
Now, what do I do? I want what is best for her, but I know this is going to be a huge battle. Kenz has told me her reasons for wanting to live with us and I stand by her decision but now how do we go about this. My wife tells me I should be up front with her mother and just let her know what is going on and see if she will budge. Well, I know the tears will start flowing or the words surely will.
I was thinking about keeping it secret and taking all of the documents to the lawyers and push for this. As I said, I know it will be an expensive ordeal and a pretty ugly one. The kids will be the ones who will suffer the most. They will get caught in the middle and sadly I know words will be slinging. I have apologized to both girls for things I have said about their mom and now I try to wait until they are gone. Their mom still says things about me in front of them because Kenz tells me she isn’t very nice about me in any way.
So, what do I do? I want what is best for the kids and what will make them happy. It isn’t about me!!!! Although, I will admit, part of me has come alive again that one of my kids wants to be with me. What is the correct path to take? Do I be secretive and in a way vengeful or do I take the higher road and talk to her or is there another solution that I am missing? Please help!!!!
Labels: HELP
posted by Brewster at 10:24 AM
3 Comments:
You have to talk to her. Whetehr you want to or not. Is she re married? Myabe all 4 adults should go to a neutral place and discuss it. But you have to stick up for your daughter and what she wants. Approach C as if it were a trial deal. Say Kenz has been asking about living here on a more permanent basis and I think we should try it.
I know how much you hate confrontation, but you need to do just that. Emails are worthless and it won't help your plea at all.
Of course she's gonna cry, but knowing that will brace you for it. If all the adults together isn't going to work then it's up to you, if she declines to even consider it, you need to tell kenz she has to confront her mother over it. All 3 of you get together and tell her she needs to stick to her guns because her mom does not believe you.
Involving lawyers further is only gonna piss C off and she will be even more stubborn. Good Luck....thinking of you.
ps I forgot.....DO NOT just let this go. Kenz has been asking you about this for awhile, you need to show your daughter her happiness is 1st on your list of priorities. I'm not saying that it isn't, but I know you, and you will not want to get in a big thing. If that is what it comes down to, thats what you need to do.
(done preaching)
It wont be an easy journey and I hope that things work out for everyone.
Be strong and itx the goal and not the journey that matters. :)
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