True Pain


Yes, another pathetic observation if you will from me. As I sit here, home alone in the dark, I gather my thoughts for this entry. I thought that I never knew true pain until today.
Oh, when my father died, that was extremely painful. When I blew out my back and workman’s comp. sat on their hands for almost a year before I was able to have the surgery, again, that was pain. Lastly, I thought when the divorce was final and my world crashed down around me, man, I thought nothing could be worse. But, today, my daughter with pure accuracy aimed her little arrow at my heart and direct hit.
At this point you are probably asking yourselves, “What could she have done that was so horrible?” Well, for those of you that don’t know, my oldest daughter is in therapy. She hasn’t taken this divorce well and now we find out she is exhibiting signs of being bi-polar. Oh, they have already labeled her as ADD, but now we are going for a new high.
Anyway, at our session, she decides to drop the bomb (see entry about bombshells) on me about her true feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I knew she loves her mom almost to the point of it being unnatural, but she let me know that I am a worthless piece of ****. She said that when she comes over for visitation that I don’t spend any time with her. I almost dropped on that one because usually give them my undivided attention when I have them. If that wasn’t bad enough, she tells me she does not feel welcome in my home. Ugh!!!! I wanted to just about crawl under some rug, because she has the psychiatrist believing this stuff.
To make a long story short, “Et Tu Brute?”, I feel like Julius Ceasar. She has blasted me before in there, but I usually countered enough that the therapist knew she was lying. But, the therapist has noticed a pattern that Brittany is afraid to talk when I am there, but when she is with her mom, she spills all the beans. What ever happened to daddy’s little girl? That is true pain.